So, I was browsing the Ugg website, tittering quietly because I still can't believe they named them "Ugg", and I came across a button that said "Casuals" and a button that said "Boots".

Already I'm confused. Ugg boots are casual. Who wears Uggs with their cocktail dress? Who wears Uggs with their tuxedo? Even the Australians aren't doing that, and they're the ones who've cursed us with the squishy-comfy-I'm-walking-on-a-mattress-ugly-guilty-pleasure of their footwear. I give you full permission to slap anyone you see wearing Uggs at a formal event. That's right. I'm condoning violence. Don't hit too hard, okay? Maybe just a firm pat on the buttocks. With...wait for it...bazillion dollar idea...an uggsmack paddle.

I clicked the "Casuals" button. Know what? Some of these shoes are pretty cute! Some of these shoes are utter disasters. Most importantly, though, I have added the term "furry toehole" to my vocabulary. See at top right the women's Malta.

That is all. I'll be busy crafting a wooden uggsmack paddle to fit in my evening purse.