Posts with tag Florida

This year, we've run across multiple stories about men getting ticketed -- or in some cases, arrested -- for wearing saggy pants under Florida's saggy pants ordinances. Needless to say, we stand opposed to any attempts to legislate fashion, no matter how stupid or ugly it looks. So, it's nice to find out that President-elect Obama shares our views and doesn't plan to create a 'Department of Homeland Fashion Police' or anything like that. Phew.

What's the hottest thing to wear to the polls this election day? Well, some folks on Florida's left coast say it's their birthday suit. A representative of Caliente Resorts in Pasco County, Florida is petitioning his local officials for a clothing-optional precinct -- and apparently nothing in Florida law would prohibit such an establishment. Sure, provocative campaign-wear is all over the place this year, but is anything really more controversial than showing up to the polls with nothing on but a pair of flip flops?

A few weeks ago, we told you about the guy who got arrested for sagging in Florida. Well, apparently the fashion police down in the no nonsense community of Riviera Beach, Florida have been handing out saggy pants citations like they were parking tickets. At least 11 others have been hauled in on charges of "exposure of undergarment in public." Now the story has taken another twist, as a circuit judge in Palm Beach says the sagging ban is unconstitutional.

A sagging 17 year old recently spent a night in jail for violating the saggy pants law, with no bond. When judge Paul Moyle heard about the case, he got f-ing mad. According to this judge, the right to wear saggy pants is part of our basic freedoms, man. Our forefathers didn't die face down in the muck -- etc -- the law is unconstitutional. While it seems pretty obvious to us here in the fashion blogging world, it's apparently going to take a supreme court decision to make the folks in Riviera Beach see the light.

When you get dressed in the morning, do you check through your city's penal code to make sure your outfit is in accordance with all laws and ordinances? Well, maybe you should. As you've probably heard, some cities are trying to legislate fashion by trumping up ridiculous laws as if they're writing the local high school's student dress code. We say: this is still America isn't it? Land of the free?

Apparently not if you happen to live in Riviera Beach, Florida, where cops issued Kenneth Smith a ticket for "exposure of undergarments in public." Evidently, the cops were investigating a suspected drug dealer when they noticed Kenneth hanging out next to the suspect's Impala. One of the officers noticed that his blue and white boxers were visible "approximately two inches below his waist" -- an obvious threat to society.

Kenneth faces up to a $150 fine as a first time offender, and if cops ever want to use this lame pretense to dettain him again -- he could face up to 30 days in jail. Ridiculous. Look, we're not big fans of sagging, but if sagging is illegal, then why aren't Speedos? Oh, that's right -- they are.

Wearing a Speedo on a public beach might be a crime against fashion and tastefulness, but should it really be a ticketable offense?

Apparently, some sheriff's deputy in Florida thinks so. Here's the story: Speedo enthusiast and Bonita Beach icon 'Beach Bob' is lying in his lawn chair reading like he has every day for the last few years when the deputy walks up and gives him a ticket for trespassing -- and kicks him off the beach because his swimsuit is 'over the line.'


A judge threw the case out immediately, but Bob's still awaiting his day in court -- because he's decided to sue the sheriff's department on behalf of Speedo-wearers everywhere. Look, Speedos aren't exactly our favorite choice when it comes to men's swimwear, but they're not really much worse than a lot of the other options out there. Our policy is: bad taste in swimwear is an unfortunate thing -- but it's still your choice to make. Best of luck with that lawsuit Bob!

Whit Honea is a slacker, a borderline degenerate, and a daydream believer. He's also our resident expert on casual chic. If it's comfortable, and not heinous, he's all over it. He's quite charming, really.

We really like Vintage Vantage, and not just because they were soaked in voting controversy (guess where it started? We're looking at you Florida) or that they are officially at war with the country of Denmark, valid reasons they both may be. No, we like them because they make great shirts.

If time has proven anything it is that Ponce de León was way off mark. Aside from the bikinis washed upon the shoreline of Miami the closest thing to a Fountain of Youth in Florida has big mouse ears on it. Those cars with the New York plates? Those people aren't young, Ponce.

No, the Fountain of Youth can be found on me -- on my face to be exact. You see, I'm closer to 40 30 than I have any right being, and yet I have enough blemishes and pimples to be invited to prom or tested for steroids. Sure, it's kind of fun being the guy that can buy beer at the dance, but testifying before Congress? That's lame.

That's why I tried Advantage Acne Spot Treatment by Clean & Clear. It is a salicylic acid acne medication. Yeah, that doesn't mean anything to me either. However, it also claims, right on the tube, that it "won't overdry skin," which is good. The only thing worse than having a big pimple on your face is having a big pimple on your lizard face. That's awkward.

All I know is that it works. Fast. I've got a tux to rent and a corsage to buy. I can't afford to worry about my complexion.

A few months ago towns around the country started turning the real police into fashion police, and arresting kids who let their pants sag halfway down their butts. I can only imagine if Marky Mark was still performing as a musician -- it'd be hysterical to watch him get arrested for dropping his pants in front of thousands of screaming junior high girls.

But anyway, believe it or not, people really are getting arrested because of their pants -- like Frances Leger, a 20-year-old business student at Florida State University who'd been banned from a local mall for letting his underwear hang out. When Leger decided to ignore the ban, deputies came to arrest him. When he and his family resisted, all hell broke loose.

We're talking 20 deputies, two canine units, and a police helicopter surrounding the mall -- just to make sure this fashion disaster was dealt with.

Wow. Remind me to dress really nice the next time I go to Florida. I don't want the SWAT team hauling me off to prison for bad taste.

And speaking of dressing nice, if you need to ditch those baggy trouser before they get you picked up by the police, check out the hot new looks for the year ahead: